just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He passed out mid-signature
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize