drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just pynch a tree in the face
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
