im about as happy as oj after his trial
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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