We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
