no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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