garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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