i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
