Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
