Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
