I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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