I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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