You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
