2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
