Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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