i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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