OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
