dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
