i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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