All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
