I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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