I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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