He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
