FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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