D3 body, D1 cock
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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