is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
