i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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