I've blown a few things in my day
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
