quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
