Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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