what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
