idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize