Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
worst night to have a conscience
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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