Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
