shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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