Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
