found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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