Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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