He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
