He asked to "fluff my boner.."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
