this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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