she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
