how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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