When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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