we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
