Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
