quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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