Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this will be a night to untag.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
