I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize