I bet he comes in French.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
