Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize