THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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