The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
