We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
