I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize