just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
