you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If I die, sorry about rent.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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