My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
