batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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