Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
