I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
