so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
