1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
