Got a toothbrush?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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