Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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