this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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