She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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