I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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